So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
Truth to Learn
As we love ourselves, so a husband should love his wife.
Behind the Words
The word translated “ought” is opheilÅ, which means “to be indebted” or “to be obligated.”
All three occurrences of “love” in this verse are forms of agape, which refers to “self-sacrificing actions focused on the good of the loved one.”
“Bodies” is from the Greek noun soma, which can refer to “our physical body” or metaphorically to “any organized whole made up of parts or members.”
Meaning Explained
After a couple of verses of describing the love that Christ has for His bride (His body), Paul now returns to the subject of men loving their wives. He tells us that husbands are obligated to love their own wives as their own body. There are several nuances to this teaching that are all equally true.
Paul has used the example of Christ’s love for His bride, the church. However, the church is also referred to as the “body of Christ.” Thus, all that is described here about the love that Christ has for His bride is also love that He has for His body. In the same manner, the husband should demonstrate love for his wife as his own body, which takes us to the second nuance of this teaching. As Paul will tell us a few verses from here, quoting from the Old Testament:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
Since the marriage union makes a man and a woman one flesh (one body), then a man really is showing love to his own body when he demonstrates love to his wife.
The third nuance of this verse, and the one I believe Paul is focusing on here, is based on the fact that each one of us loves his or her own self. It is a part of who and what we are. When we get hungry, we feed ourselves. When we get thirsty, we take a drink. When we get cold, we turn up the heat or put on warmer clothing. We do all these things, and many more, without thinking about them. In fact, we love our bodies and the life that God has given us so much that we go into a natural panic and frenzy when that life is threatened.
In taking a swimming and lifesaving class many years ago, I learned that when someone is on the verge of drowning, they panic and flail their arms and legs about because they so desperately want to preserve their lives.
Paul’s point here is that we love our own body and this life so much that we will do anything to preserve our own health, safety, and comfort. Husbands, that’s the kind of love you should have for your wife. You should be so focused on her health, safety, and comfort that you take care of her needs without having to even think about them.
Application
This is one of those areas where, by being obedient to God, we make it easier for someone else to be obedient to God. Men if you consistently demonstrate real love for your wife, she will actually want to submit herself to you. Your obedience to God makes hers so much easier. That’s called win-win!
In God's service, for His glory,
Copyright © 2012 Will Krause. All rights reserved.