Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
Truth to Learn
Husbands are to sacrifice for their wives.
Behind the Words
The word translated “love” is agapaō, which refers to “good will” or “benevolence,” that is, acts of goodness toward someone else. There is another verb translated “love” in the New Testament. It is phileō, referring to a “brotherly love” or “fondness” as expressed between good friends. It is based on feelings. Agapaō, on the other hand, indicates a love in action, not just feelings or emotion. It implies action which is directed toward the benefit of the beloved, even at the expense of personal sacrifice on the part of the loving one. Therefore, agapaō is often referred to as “a self-sacrificing love.” It is expressed in today’s verse in the imperative mood, indicating a command to husbands, not simply a suggestion.
“Gave up” is translated from paradidōmi, which is made up of para, meaning “to the side of” and didōmi, meaning “to give.” Thus, paradidōmi literally means “to give to the side of.” The picture is that of someone surrendering something to someone else. The word is expressed here in the aorist tense, indicative mood. This implies action that was performed at a point in time in the past (not a continuous action, but a single act). Jesus Christ expressed the purest form of agapē love when He gave Himself up to be crucified in our place.
“Her” is translated from the Greek pronoun autēs, which is singular and feminine. One reason for this is that in Greek the pronoun must agree in number and gender with the noun it refers to, and the Greek word for church (ekklēsia) is a singular, feminine noun. It is also significant, however, that Paul is equating the church with wives, which is also a feminine noun. Some translations use “it” in reference to the church, since the English word church is neuter and requires a neuter pronoun. However, in keeping with good Greek grammar and to preserve the comparison that Paul is making between the church and wives, we have translated it as “her.”
Meaning Explained
Having established the order of authority within a marriage relationship and the responsibility of a wife, Paul now talks about the husband’s position in a marriage. Wherever authority is given, there is also responsibility. This is especially true here where the Apostle commands all husbands to love their wives. As we pointed out in Behind the Words, this love that a husband is to have for his wife is not just a feeling, it is action. Men are commanded to be more concerned about the wellbeing of their wives than their own wellbeing. They are to sacrifice themselves for their wives.
In the previous two verses, Paul gave women an example of submission, that of the church’s submission to Christ as the head of the church. He now uses this same relationship between Jesus Christ and His church as an example of how husbands are to love their wives. Jesus Christ loves the church so much that He offered himself on the cross. He literally sacrificed His own life for the good of the church. Men, this is the type of love that we are to demonstrate for our wives. Men, if you are abusing your wife, either physically or emotionally, you are not demonstrating agapē love, you are demonstrating selfishness, which is just the opposite!
It is interesting to note that women are never commanded to love their husbands with an agapē love. In Titus 2:4 we find that older women in the church are to teach younger women to love their husbands. However, the word translated “love” in that verse is not agapaō, but phileō, an affectionate love. Women are not commanded to sacrifice themselves for their husbands, but husbands ARE commanded to sacrifice themselves for their wives.
One of the things that Paul is telling us men is that if we demonstrate true self-sacrificing love for our wives, constantly doing those things which demonstrate care, protection, and goodness for her, she will want to place herself under our authority. Doing so will not be a burden to her, but a joy.
Application
Men, the next time you have an argument with your wife, remember that God commands you to sacrifice your own wellbeing for hers. Therefore, making reconciliation is up to you. Always have her best interests in mind, not your own. Love her like Christ loves us!
In God's service, for His glory,
Copyright © 2016 Will Krause. All rights reserved